Why does my child present differently at school?
Sometimes we are surprised to hear that our child can regulate emotions at school; because after school, it's a different story! Don't worry, this is perfectly normal. Professionals call it "after school restraint collapse". Many of you can relate to the melt downs that occur after school, yet what to do about it?
BBC's Parent Toolkit gives us some practical advice for handling after school restraint collapse:
- Understand the complexity of navigating a school day. Your child has been coordinating learning, social, and emotional regulation all day. They may need some time to adjust or "release" in their home environment.
- Let them have some decompression time. Depending on your child's individual personality and age, that might be a walk with the dog, a snack, talking, some quiet time, or a hands on activity like drawing, etc.
- Listen and validate without "fixing" or drilling for information. Older children might not want to talk about their day.
- Build time for connection during the week or weekend. Let them know you’re looking forward to being with them, just for who they are, not for what they’ve achieved.
- Ask for help - let us know if you think something happening at school might be affecting their after school emotions.
You might enjoy reading the full BBC Parent Toolkit article here.
Have a lovely weekend!
Warm Regards,
Valerie DeGraw
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